I’m sitting on my balcony watching dark clouds stirring on the other side of the lake, the orange warning lights are flashing telling the boats to head back to harbor. The wind is picking up and the temperature is dropping.
Story of my life at the moment, well maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. Those words somehow describe the way I feel and for some reason I am finding it hard to motivate myself to do the thing that makes me most at peace with myself. Taking photos that is, and writing on this blog.
I have a massive library of photos so finding new photographic content for the blog isn’t that hard. The problem is the writing, for the last couple of months I sit regularly in front of a screen pondering what word to start with. And all that comes out of my brain is a rather mute sentence or two that doesn’t really add up to much. It’s not really what I want to share, just seems to be all that’s there at the moment. I can’t tell you the real cause, there is plenty going on and plenty more rattling around inside my head, that’s not unusual, my brain always seems to be on the go.
If I could tell you I probably wouldn’t need to write this post, then again giving you a little insight into what I’m all about can’t be bad can it?
I feel like I’ve been putting off sharing many a thing for quite a while. I actually can’t believe it’s taken me this long to write about this, possibly the fact that I haven’t been able to find the words. In about a months time I will be a father, hmmm crap I was expecting some form of overwhelming euphoria to pass through my body when I wrote those words, the spine tingling was quite nice but I was expecting a bit more than that.
I was secretly telling myself that by writing about it, I would get over this strange block. I don’t want to call it writers block, I don’t call myself a writer, I enjoy sharing my thoughts. This isn’t the only place I do it, I write on my employers tech blog, I’ve also written an article or two. Not tremendous amounts and definitely nothing that’s worth publishing.
Anyway back to the topic at hand, yes I’m going to be a father. Plenty of our friends are asking me if I’m excited, nervous or feeling some king of other feeling. I must admit except the kicking in Louise’ belly and the rearrangement of the apartment it doesn’t feel any different yet. I’ve always been the kind of person to take things as they come, it’s more of a case of we’ll have to wait and see.
There are a couple of other things going on that may be causing these motivational issues, I’ve been visiting a physio regularly to deal with a herniated disk, which was quite painful and now just become downright annoying as I have gotten used to the pain. The other one is several months ago I got a promotion at work, which is a good thing, but has added a little stress.
I doubt very much that any of these are the cause of my lack of motivation. I just need to kick myself in the ass a little more often and remember to look at the world around me from time to time. That’s what sparks my interest and passion, like sitting here watching the storm this evening.
I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that, I just figured instead of writing my rather dull sentence or two, I would try something different and write about what’s bugging me.
The storm in this photo never amounted to much, the local Swiss guy who owned this campsite come farm was hoping for rain.